Friday, May 31, 2013

Rebecca's Lost Journals: MY MASTER

Size : 338 KB
Date: 31/05/2013
Grade: 4.5
Details: No. 4 Rebecca’s Lost Journals
            An Inside Out Novella
Own / Kindle

The Blurb:

“In part four of Rebecca’s Lost Journals, My Master, it’s Rebecca's turn to claim control and set the limits in her relationship.”

It has been a long time since Rebecca has written more than just loose thoughts in her journal. After the last contract renewal she has moved in with her Master and the time for the next renewal negotiations is fast approaching. Rebecca is having serious second thoughts though. As much as she has fallen in love with her Master, she is convinced that his feelings for her are nowhere near as deep.

“I know he cares about me in the way he believes is the ultimate showing of affection and commitment.”

And what is more, with each subsequent negotiation He draws her deeper into the BDSM world, pushing her limits well beyond that with which she is comfortable.

“He’s pulling me inside that dark hole that is his escape. Only there is no escape for me.”

More worryingly, He doesn’t seem to be aware that he is pushing her too hard and too fast.

“Not when every scene pushes me beyond the limits that mean pleasure for me. He doesn’t see that, either. And as my Master, he should.”

Rebecca’s nightmares have returned and she can’t help feeling that something horrible is waiting for her, just out of sight, ready to pounce. With her Master away Rebecca decides to spend the weekend in her own flat, a decision He isn’t happy about. It is the right decision for her though because on her own, in her familiar surroundings she starts writing in her journal again and in doing so manages to process her feelings.

“I’m on an emotional rollercoaster ride and he’s not. That bothers me. It’s telling. But what is it telling me?”

Rebecca is willing to accept that she is very special to her Master:

“You’re the only sub I’ve ever asked to do this.”

But she doesn’t want to be just his best sub. Rebecca wants and needs a proper relationship.

“These are the moments that I revel in, when he doesn’t hold back, when he doesn’t restrain me or himself. We are just... us.”

But a proper relationship is not what her Master is looking for and probably not something he is capable of either. And though it would break her heart, Rebecca is getting ready to walk away. Because staying would break her completely.

What I really love about this book is that it shows us another side to a BDSM relationship. In most books in this genre we encounter an experienced Master who connects with a girl who has never even thought about the power-exchange dynamic, only to discover that she has a submissive nature and revels in such a relationship. Rebecca’s journals show us what happens when the girl in question, while enjoying some aspects of the dynamic, isn’t looking for anything beyond a “standard” relationship even if it does include a few kinky aspects. Looking at a relationship in which things don’t just come together perfectly makes this a fascinating and realistic story. Combined with the beautiful writing and the ongoing mystery as to who exactly the Master is, these short novellas are an absolute delight to read. And, now that I’ve finished the fourth in this series I’m more than ready for Being Me. Which is just as well since it will be released in just a few days time.

This novella is part of the Inside Out Series and should be read after the following titles:

If I Were You
The Seduction
The Contract

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