ROLL

TITLE: ROLL

AUTHOR: LYNN TOWNSEND

Pages: 192

Date: 19/03/2014

Grade: 3.5

Details: Received from Torquere Books

            Through Love Romances and More

Own / Kindle

The blurb:

“From the farms of Tennessee, Beau Watkins had it all in high school; the cute girl, the popular, jock lifestyle, a loving family. As a rising freshman at an out-of-state college, he's determined to find out who he really is behind the fake it 'til you make it attitude. He joins Rainbow Connection, the gay student alliance, hoping to find himself. Instead, he finds Vin Reyes. Raised by his grandparents and the heir to a prosperous company, Vin has been out of the closet since he figured out what that meant. He has it all: fashionable clothing, fancy cars, huge houses, and a real party lifestyle, even a bodyguard. Most of all, he has a secret.

Uncomfortable with Vin's generosity, Beau fights his growing attraction for the president of Rainbow Connection, chasing instead a series of shallow affairs. Vin's never been denied anything that he wants, though, and now he wants Beau. But it's not until an old rival puts Beau in the hospital that Vin realizes that Beau means more to him than a simple love affair. Can the two of them bridge the gap between their worlds and roll with the all the punches life will throw at them?”

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My thoughts

Leaving rural and ultra conservative Tennessee for college, Beauregard (Beau) Watkins at last has the opportunity to be who he really is. Having pretended his way through high school with a cute girlfriend he doesn’t feel anything for and a lifestyle that lives up to everybody’s expectations, he should now be free to explore the feelings he’s been hiding for years. His desire to find out who he really is leads him to the Rainbow Connection and Vinyl (Vin) Elvis Reyes. Vin is everything Beau isn’t; completely out of the closet, loud, extravagant and extremely rich. The two young men soon turn into close friends. Vin might be eager for something more between them; he doesn’t stand in the way of Beau exploring his new found freedom through a string of shallow affairs. It is only when an old foe of Vin’s gives Beau a beating that leaves him hospitalised that the two of them give in to the mutual attraction.

With their backgrounds and life-styles so very different Beau and Vin have a few obstacles to overcome and that is before Beau is forced to come out to his family and Vin shares a shocking discovery about his past with Beau.

As my rating indicates, I’m a bit conflicted about this book. There was a lot to love about this story. Beau and Vin were wonderful characters to read about as were the other members of the Rainbow Connection. The contrasts between Beau and Vin were perfectly painted as was the love between them.

Something I liked a lot less was that on a few occasions the story seemed to cut off just when it started getting interesting. Vin asks Beau to dance and even while I’m thinking ‘oh yummy, dance scenes can be so exciting’, the next chapter starts with a new scene at a later date. The same thing happens when it has snowed. There’s talk about ambushing friends, Vin and Beau go outside and then the chapter ends on: “In the end the ambush was epic.” I can’t help wondering if it ever occurred to the author that her readers might enjoy experiencing the epicness of that ambush?

On the other hand, there were moments of tenderness that nearly took my breath away. I loved Vin’s honesty when talking about his feelings.

“I’ve never been in love before. It’s kinda scary. I feel like I’ve been given something rare and precious and terribly breakable.” – Vin to Beau

And I loved Vin’s vulnerability, despite all his privileges and money, and his ability to show it to Beau.

“You are who you are, and I love you because, despite and sometimes in spite of it. If you can’t say the same, if I can’t be enough with the money...” Vin

The moment when Beau confronts his brother and throws away years of carefully hiding who he is in order to stand up for the man he loves was wonderful and inspired.

“I’ve always been gay. Vin didn’t have anything to do with that. All he’s ever done is make me feel happy and loved for who I am.” – Beau

And the wish Vin makes when blowing out the candles on his birthday cake is one most of us should pay attention to:

“I wish to never take any of the good times for granted.” – Vin

Just when I thought the things I loved about this book far exceeded the things I didn’t, the book ended – apparently mid-story. And while I’m not a huge fan of cliff-hangers I can live with them provided I know to expect one. There was however nothing to indicate that this book might be the first instalment in a series. I checked Amazon after I finished the story to see if maybe there had been a warning there that I had missed but no. This book is being sold as a one-off complete story only to end with what appears to be a set-up for part two. And I might not even have minded that too much if it hadn’t been for the fact that my copy of the book says nothing about an upcoming sequel or when it might be expected.

To summarize it all: This was a charming, not particularly graphic, coming-out story that managed to capture my heart even as it occasionally let me down. And despite my frustration about the way the book ended I can’t help hoping that there will be a sequel in the not too distant future. I’ve grown fond enough of Beau and Vin to want to spend more time with them.

ALL THE WAY

TITLE: ALL THE WAY

AUTHOR: MARIE DARRIEUSSECQ

Pages: 284

Date: 26/02/2014

Grade: 3.5

Details: Received from Text Publishing

            Through Nudge

Own

Some books are harder to review than others and ‘All the Way’ certainly falls in the harder category.

This is the story of Solange’s sexual coming of age. It is told in three parts and while you might think that it gets easier to read about her dreams, fantasies and actions as she gets older, it didn’t quite work that way for me. In fact, there was a lot in this story that really disturbed me. That is significant because I read a lot of erotic books covering a range of topics and rarely find myself wanting to look away from what the author is trying to show me.

Solange’s story is told in three parts: Getting It, Doing It and Doing It Again and follows her from age 10 until a few, unspecified number of, years later. Solange is the daughter of a father she hero worships but who is rarely around and appears to be having affairs. Solange isn’t really aware of her father’s escapades although his behaviour does manage to embarrass her at times. The girl’s mother doesn’t seem to play an active role in Solange’s life. She is around but appears to be suffering from depression and migraines; something that appears to be connected to the photo of a young boy she keeps on her bedside table. With her parents being less than present in her life, much of Solange’s care is left to a neighbour, Monsieur Bihotz.

The reader follows Solange as her body and her interests change. She evolves from an innocent and happy young girl into a sex obsessed teenager with little to no guidance and guessing her way through discoveries and experiences. Everything the girl thinks she knows has either been found in an encyclopaedia or picked up from girlfriend gossip and neither can protect her or those around her from the devastation her transition will cause.

This book managed to disturb me on several levels. In the first part of the story the interactions between Solange and Monsieur Bihotz gave me the creeps. While it is never suggested that the man abuses Solange, the descriptions of him tucking her into her bed and, especially, the fact that the young girl can describe his penis in various states of arousal really got to me.

“He has two dicks. The one for pissing and the other one. The other one is much bigger, the colour of a turkey’s comb, like the canna lilies.”

In the two subsequent parts of the story Solange is a few years older, although the reader is never told exactly how old, and throws herself head first into a sex obsessed world. It was her desperation to experience everything as soon as possible that really got to me. On the one hand I was very impressed with the descriptions of all the insecurities teenagers go through when it comes to relationships and intimacy. On the other hand the way she throws herself into everything is so far beyond my level of experience that it shocked me to the core. It might have been easier if Solange’s age in those later years had been specified. Because the reader is only told she is a few years older than 10 it is up to them to imagine whether she is say, 13, 15 or 17. The fact that everything described in this book might have been happening to a girl aged only 14 made this a hard read.

Having said all of that, there were a few things I really admired about this book. The story is told in a rather fragmented fashion, jumping from thought to thought. Of course, that is exactly the way the teenage mind works and while it made the story a bit hard to follow at times, it also meant that the reader never had the opportunity to forget that they were living inside a teenage mind. The selfishness of teenagers and their capacity to make everything that happens about them was brilliantly portrayed, even if it made Solange a very hard character to like on occasion. I was also really impressed with some of the descriptions of Solange’s changing body.

“Her nipples feel like they’re on fire. As if two eyes were opening in her chest, agonizing, blind and exposed to scrutiny.”

Just as there were one or two times when her emotions struck a chord.

“Oh, to be a child again. When she was little, the external world didn’t seem to weigh so heavily on the surface of her being.”

Maybe this was such a hard book to read because it is too realistic. It brought back memories of all the insecurities, confusing longings and pitfalls of adolescence with too much clarity. Some of Solange’s thoughts and experiences were so recognisable they might have been written about me. That combined with the fact that a lot of what she actually experiences goes way beyond anything I encountered during that time in my life may well explain why I feel so ambivalent about this book. One thing I do know for sure is that I’m happy I don’t have a teenage daughter living at home. I think this story would give any parent of a teenage daughter nightmares – even a mother who was kind of wild at that age herself.

Over all I would call this a very explicit, at times shocking, coming of age story written by an author who has an exceptional insight into the teenage mind. The writing in this book is brutally honest and at times poetically beautiful. This is the sort of book that will shock and disturb many because it shows us a part of the teenage experience we would rather deny. I defy anybody to read this book and not walk away from it with strong feelings. Whether those feelings are positive or negative very much depends on the sensibilities of the reader in question. This reader finds herself both impressed and disturbed.

MY EDUCATION

TITLE: MY EDUCATION

AUTHOR: SUSAN CHOI

Pages: 395

Date: 11/08/2013

Grade: 3

Details: Received from Short Books

            Through Nudge

Own

The story:

It is 1992 and Regina Gottlieb, 20 years old, is starting her graduate degree. From the very first time she sees him at a poetry reading, Regina is mesmerized by Nicholas Brodeur, the seductive English professor with a rather shocking reputation. Although she is well aware that it may not be the smartest thing to do, Regina accepts a job as his assistant and slowly finds herself entering the world Nicholas and his wife, Martha, inhabit. Getting closer to Nicholas and Martha means a distance develops between Regina and her house-mate, friend and occasional lover, Dutra.

While it is Regina’s fascination with Nicholas Brodeur and his reputation that entices her into his orbit, he won’t be the subject of her fantasies and desires. A passionate affair will follow, but instead of Nicholas it will be the person closest to him who captivates Regina to such an extent that she disregards the consequences her feelings and actions will have, both for herself and for those around her. And it won’t be until 15 years later that the conflicts that started in 1992 and their lasting consequences come to the surface and have a chance of being put to rest.

My thoughts:

I am not entirely sure how I feel about this book or what to say about it. This a rather typical coming-of-age story in that it portrays the journey a young woman makes from the innocence and happy-go-lucky lifestyle so typical of teenagers to the very real and harsh consequences that an affair and first deep, but unattainable love can bring. And the gravity of everything Regina encounters and experiences jumps of the page in the form of long and at times seemingly mindless descriptions of everything she sees, feels, does and experiences. And that is where my main issue with this book lies. While I realise that those first encounters with deep but impossible love can turn us into philosophers, I can’t help feeling that this book, or rather the writing in it, was trying to be a bit too clever. Overly long and detailed descriptions and complicated structures to the sentences forced me regularly to re-read a sentence or paragraph multiple times before I got the meaning. And this enforced re-reading kept on taking me out of what was a very interesting story.

Because, while the main story-line was fascinating, it seemed to take a back-seat to all those descriptions. After almost 400 pages I can only say that at all times I felt that very little was actually happening in this story. The emotions as experienced by Regina never quite seemed to match that which was happening to her and despite all the descriptions I never developed an understanding for her actions or a clear picture of what was motivating the other characters caught up in this drama.

I guess it is hard to get truly involved in a story in which the object of everybody’s desires is a character I can’t find attractive and, probably more importantly, can’t imagine anybody else finding attractive either. Because it isn’t really Regina’s actions that upset everybody’s lives. In fact, you could say that while Regina is the one relating this story she isn’t really the main catalyst in it. That honour, in my opinion, falls to the person she has her affair with, the person I could never get a handle on or sympathise with.

From the description on the back of this book it would be easy to get the impression that this is a work of erotic fiction; however it isn’t. While an affair plays a huge and devastating part in this story, and that affair is definitely passionate, this is not the sort of book that indulges in detailed or long descriptions of intimacy. This is a book about feelings, about acting on those feelings and the consequences those actions can have, not only on the lives of those personally caught up in that passion but also on those around them. This is a literary novel about love, lust, betrayal and devastation. It is a story about growing up and recognising the consequences of our actions, even if it takes years for the real consequences to come to the surface.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I liked the story, or the idea behind it, but didn’t – always – enjoy the way in which it was told. To me this book seemed at times overly descriptive and lyrical which made it a slow and at times a bit of a hard to follow reading experience for me. I can’t help feeling though that this may well be a deficiency on my part rather than a fault of the author. If you enjoy a thoughtful, descriptive and introspective story written by someone who uses words masterfully as well as abundantly, you will probably love this book.

THE UNIVERSE vs. ALEX WOODS

TITLE: THE UNIVERSE vs. ALEX WOODS

AUTHOR: GAVIN EXTENCE

Pages: 346

Date: 05/02/2013

Grade: 5+

Details: Received from Hodder & Stoughton

            Through Nudge

Own

“Full explanations are much messier. They can’t be conveyed in five unprepared stop-start minutes. You have to give them time and space to unfold. (…) I’m going to tell you my story, the full story, in the manner I think it should be told.”

Alex Wood is not your average teenager. He didn’t have a conventional start to his life. With a clairvoyant mother who doesn’t know who his father is his life was always going to be a little bit different. Things really change though when Alex is ten years old and gets hit on the head by a meteorite. When he wakes up after two weeks in a coma his life has changed. He discovers that he has become something of a celebrity, that his hair will not grow back over his scar and that he will have to contend with epileptic fits from now on. After a year of forced house-arrest to come to terms with his fits and the medication he takes for it, Alex has a hard time fitting back into school and life in general.

When an unfortunate incident involving three bullies, a greenhouse and an epileptic fit bring Alex into contact with Mr. Peterson, it is the start of a remarkable and very special friendship.

“The first thing I learnt that day was this: what you think you know about a person is only a fraction of the story.”

The young boy and the older man grow close through a shared love for classical music and Kurt Vonnegut novels. When Mr. Peterson is diagnosed with a debilitating and fatal disease which will force him to face a slow and excruciating death his options are limited. With Alex’ help and determination though, Mr. Peterson finds that he is able to make the decisions he wants to make. And Alex has no regrets. Not even when, aged 17, he is apprehended in Dover with an urn of ashes on the passenger seat of his car and a bag of marijuana in the glove compartment. The whole of England may be in an uproar about his recent journey; Alex knows he’s done the right thing.

This is a very special book. At first glance it is a charming coming of age story about a young man with a less than conventional life. On further inspection though this proves to be a thought-provoking work of fiction dealing with weighty subjects such as bullying, illness, life, death, euthanasia and personal responsibility. 

“Understanding and accepting that you have a permanent illness does not mean being a slave to it. It’s the first step you have to make so that you can go on living your life.”

And yet this book doesn’t read like a work that is trying to convey a message. This book doesn’t preach, doesn’t try to convince the reader about anything and is remarkably – even deceptively – easy to read. And yet it poses an important question: should we, or should we not have the right to decide when to end our own lives? I realise that this makes the book sound as if it will be a depressing and heavy read, but it isn’t. The sad and reflective sections in this book are perfectly balanced by the lighter and at times laugh out loud funny parts. The differences between young, curious and innocent Alex and the older and world-weary Mr. Peterson are at times very funny; a delight of confusion and misunderstandings. At the same time their friendship is wonderful; these two characters enrich each other’s lives in a multitude of ways.

Gavin Extence hits the voice of young Alex spot-on. He brings this character who is older than his years in some ways, yet very innocent in others, to life in a way that made me want to go and find him. The writing in this book is smooth and takes the reader on an emotionally charged journey they won’t want to end.

This is also a wonderful book for those who love reading. We meet Kurt Vonnegut’s books in rather poignant ways and are also treated to parts of Catch 22 with equal relevance to the story in this book.

Beautiful, funny, heartbreaking, thought-provoking, very clever and original this is the best book I’ve read so far this year and will, undoubtedly, end up among my favourites for 2013. I can’t rave enough about this book; it is nothing short of brilliant.

I’ll give the final word to Mr. Peterson:

“In the long history of human affairs, common sense doesn’t have the greatest track record.”

SAVING CEECEE HONEYCUTT

TITLE: SAVING CEECEE HONEYCUTT

AUTHOR: BETH HOFFMAN

Pages: 375

Date: 07/01/2013

Grade:5-

Details: Large Print edition

Library

Cecelia Rose (CeeCee) Honeycutt is only twelve years old when her mother, Camille, dies in a terrible accident in 1967. By then she has been taking care of her psychotic mother for years while her father, a travelling salesman, spends less and less time at home. Camille who was born and raised in Georgia is deeply unhappy in Northern Ohio; so unhappy that eventually she rejects her everyday reality and lives her life as if it is 1951 and she has just won a Georgia beauty pageant. With her mother going around town in elaborate party dresses and a tiara in her hair, CeeCee has become the laughing stock among her peers. Without friends and with responsibilities beyond her years, CeeCee’s only support is Mrs. Odell an elderly neighbour.

After her mother’s dead CeeCee’s father decides that she would be better of living with her great-aunt Tootie in Savannah. Rejected by her father and forced to leave behind the only person to ever take care of her, CeeCee travels to her new home with a heavy heart and only Mrs. Odell’s words to give her strength:

“When a chapter of your Life Book is complete, your spirit knows it’s time to turn the page so a new chapter can begin. Even when you’re scared or think you’re not ready, your spirit knows you are.”

And Savannah really is a new page in CeeCee’s Life Book. From her aunt who never seems to stop and can’t think bad about anybody to Oletta Jones the house cook, from the eccentric neighbour looking for Nirvana and prone to taking naked midnight baths to the rude lady having an affair with a local policeman, the women in her new town welcome the lost girl with open arms and show her life beyond the sadness.

Over the course of a long, hot summer CeeCee learns about love, acceptance, prejudice, loyalty as well as rules to live by:

“Don’t grow up too fast darling. Age is inevitable, but if you nurture a childlike heart, you’ll never ever grow old.”

It will take CeeCee a while to get over the guilt she feels about her mother’s dead and the fear she has that she, like her mother, is destined to one day lose her mind. But when she does - thanks to all the strong and loving women in her life – she also finds the strength to forgive herself and accept that, even at her maddest moments, her mother loved her; a realisation that brings back words her mother once spoke:

“It’s how we survive the hurts in life that brings us strength and gives us our beauty.”

This is an emotional roller-coaster of a book. It is impossible not to have your heart break when you read about young CeeCee dealing with her mother’s madness and the pain and feelings of guilt she goes through after her mother dies. But it is equally impossible not to smile and even laugh at the antics the ladies in Savannah get up to occasionally and by the end of the book your heart will rejoice at CeeCee’s new found happiness and faith in the future.

In CeeCee Honeycutt Beth Hoffman has created a realistic and endearing character that will stay in your thoughts long after you finish the book. The author has managed to perfectly catch the thoughts and feelings of a twelve year old girl with the weight of the world on her young shoulders. CeeCee is a child who knows far too much about everything that can be wrong in the world and that comes across clearly.

CeeCee’s new home in Savannah is described with almost cinematic clarity; I could hear the voices, see the old houses, the gardens and taste the glorious food.

This is a beautiful and emotional story about love and survival with a realistic and wonderfully uplifting ending. This is a lovely read!

LULU a Novella

TITLE: LULU: A Novella

AUTHOR: NANCY FRIDAY

Pages: 152

Date: 28/12/2012

Grade: 3.5

Details: Received from Argos Nevis

              Through NetGalley

Own/Kindle

“Nothing erased the bad feelings like acts of daring do.”

Lulu is the semi-autobiographical story of a young girl who moves with her mother and brother from “the dark North” to Charleston when she’s four years old. From very early on in her life Lulu struggles with her feelings and the secrets that surround her. The biggest mystery is her father, who nobody will talk about to her. From the pieces of conversation she manages to overhear she concludes that he must be crazy and locked up, which leads to her worrying that she might be like him. And the strong and dark emotions she sometimes feels seem to make that possibility quite plausible. Torn between her love for her older brother Harry and the deep jealousy that can overwhelm her when she thinks about the closeness between him and the mother who is so very distant with her, Lulu tries to teach herself to hide her dark feelings away; something she doesn’t always manage. But not everything in the girl’s life is bad; there is her mother’s half-brother who seems to love and understand her and her grandmother who is closer to her then she is to her own daughter.

Set in the 1950’s and early 60’s we see discrimination, sexual awakening with its consequences and a rapidly changing world through the eyes of a girl and young woman, desperately trying to find her own identity and place.

This is a nice coming-of-age story, but for me it was too short. We are given fragments, snap-shots of a life without ever being given the full picture. I constantly wanted to know more; more about Lulu’s feelings and the way in which they changed, more about her life and the people around her, and more answers to the questions the girl has. While I enjoyed reading about young Lulu growing up and learning more about her life, the people in it and the ways of the world, the manner in which her story was told felt choppy. It is almost as if the author wanted the reader to feel as frustrated as Lulu does. Like Lulu, the reader is never given enough information to piece the whole story together and left with unanswered questions; left feeling a bit frustrated.

Although this is a well written, easy to read and fascinating story I can’t help feeling that it would have benefitted from being a much longer novel rather than this rather short novella. Nobody can ever accuse Nancy Friday of writing badly, but I can’t help wishing that she would have used her talents to write more of this story. On the other hand, I now feel the need to go back and read “My Mother, My Self” again. It has been a very long time since I read that book and I can’t help feeling that it may contain answers to some of the questions this book left me with.